A Foreign Service Christmas--The Good and the Bad

     I'm looking at my tree, and I am really happy.  It isn't perfectly decorated or color coordinated.  It leans a little bit and is totally disorganized, and I love it.  This is the first time in two years that we've had our entire Christmas decorations collection together under one roof, and that's really exciting for me because I absolutely adore decorating our tree every year.  My absolute favorite part of the Christmas season is unwrapping my ornament collection.  I have an ornament for every single year I've been alive.  It was a tradition my grandmother started on my first Christmas, and I look forward to each one.

I still have that ornament.

I have an ornament on my tree that represents each milestone of my life: my first car,  our trip to the Bahamas,  my child's first Christmas,  etc.

This is from the year when my parents bought our house in Napoleonville.

Here is my college graduation ornament.

These are from the year we moved to Washington ,D.C.

I got this the year of my wedding.

This is from our first Christmas together.

Here is the ornament from my first pregnancy.

My ornaments mean the world to me.  I look forward to unwrapping each one every year because they all hold a particular memory or timeframe or story for me.  I find it difficult to let my children have anything to do with them, because I worry about them getting broken.  I mean, my Rainbow Brite ornament is irreplaceable, as it my Muppets ornament.  I've gotten a little better about it over the years, and I try to make sure that my boys have their own ornaments to put on our tree each Christmas.

I haven't counted my ornaments, but I know I left one or two behind at my parents' house when I moved out.  My little red car ornament (from the year I got my first car) never made it when I moved out, and I hate that.

     I'm taking you on this trip down my personal "Memory Lane" to discuss not only my family's Christmas traditions and but also to say that keeping Christmas traditions alive in the Foreign Service can be really tricky for those who celebrate it.  Why? 

     1. Well, while it's different for every family, let's start with the fact that the majority of our diplomats living overseas (and also in Washington, D.C.) are going to be celebrating without their extended families every year.  Yes, of course, many take leave and buy tickets home (which can run in the thousands upon thousands of dollars; many are in hardship posts and use their R&R tickets to go home for the holidays; and many have relatives that visit them at Post during the Christmas season.  This is all true.  However, many, MANY families and singles abroad will be spending the holidays without their parents, grandparents, siblings, and nieces and nephews; and they will do that year after year while serving their country.

     2. Well, there isn't a big box store like Target in all countries overseas.  There isn't a commissary at every post either.  You might really like having green bean casserole for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but when you live in a place where French's fried onions and Campbell's soups just do not exist, you have to plan a bit differently.  In fact, to be honest, you may just not get to have it.  I'm dealing with that right now myself.  I didn't plan ahead this year.  I got distracted and didn't think about ordering my cream of mushroom soup and fried onions in October so I could make sure and have them in November and December.  Yes!  It takes that long to order items from the United States during the holiday season. 

     3. One must plan very far ahead in order to make sure holidays in general go smoothly for their children.  In the past, I've always ordered Halloween costumes and candy the week the kids start school in September; and I've ordered Thanksgiving foods and Christmas presents the week after Halloween.  There is no such thing as reaping the benefits of Black Friday and Cyber Monday and getting items delivered in time for Christmas Eve.  I'm sure it's possible in some posts; it just hasn't worked in Europe the two times we've lived here.  Suffice it to say that this year, though, I just didn't get it done.  I don't know if my kids' most special Christmas presents will arrive on time or not.  They're well aware of the secret of Christmas and how fast/slow the mail moves this time of year; so they're going to be just as happy and proud opening up a picture of their present in the event it doesn't arrive on time.  There's also the problem with kids changing their minds so quickly.  My eldest told us in September that all his biggest wish was for a Lego Saturn V rocket kit.  Not cheap, but fine.  No problem.  It's on its way.  Well, about a week and a half ago, he decided he really wants a new cell phone (*sigh*). 

     4. Most of the folks back home don't think about the fact that it takes two months to ship Christmas presents to FS families overseas; so many of us end up celebrating Christmas again in late January.  It seems like most of Americans do their shopping at the last minute; so they don't heed the gentle nudges about sending things early.  This can be both disappointing and exciting for FS children.  The tree can look a little bare some years, especially for those families both living on one income for the moment and living with mothers who didn't order gifts early enough.  That said, it's thrilling when a surprise Christmas box arrives a few weeks later and the kids aren't expecting it.

     5. Even the most first-world postings are challenges when celebrating the holidays.  I try and make Christmas tree bark for my husband every year.  I figured that wouldn't be a problem here because so many people make candy.  Wrong!!!  Maybe I can get it together enough to buy the meltables and candy cane pieces when they go on sale at the beginning of the new year...It'll be just like my kids opening up their presents a few weeks after Christmas! (*Puts reminder on phone*)

     6.  A FS friend just reminded me that Christmas is either illegal or just not celebrated in many countries overseas.  I can't imagine encountering a challenge like that on top of what I've mentioned already.

     7.  My personal feeling about celebrating Christmas in the FS is that the challenges never end.  Either you're far, far away from your loved ones and your spouse's loved ones, and you have to plan meticulously and well ahead of time to avoid Christmas being a total bust.  Or, you actually get to go home for the holidays; but you still can't relax.  There's the two or more days of travel time.  There's the week of jetlag that you can barely even remember when it's all said and done.  There's the guilt you either give yourself or others give you and the pressure that comes with it to see every single member in your family and your spouse's family (ours live in different states BTW), which necessitates even more travel days.  There's sending all of your extended family's gifts and your spouse's extended family's gifts ahead of time, because you're absolutely going to max out your suitcase wait both going and returning.  There's the time that you have to take wrapping the gifts once you get "home" during your "vacation."  There's preparing your kids' Christmas Eve and Christmas Day gifts in the same manner: making sure they're even, making sure they're labeled and wrapped properly. 

     So, for me, when it comes to Christmas in the FS lifestyle, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.  If I go home, I still don't get to spend any time with my family.  I'm on duty: making sure Christmas is taken care of, travel days, jetlag, helping cook and clean, and trying to actually find time for conversations while getting everything done.  Or we can stay here and just pray our stuff gets here on time while simultaneously missing our families and missing out on everything back home.  The one thing I can count on to always be there during Christmas is my ornament collection.  And it sure is special to me.

Pere LaChaise

     My husband and I went to Paris for a quick weekend trip to celebrate our anniversary and have an early Christmas together.  It's always been my favorite city in the world and our favorite city to go together; so when I won two free nights at a hotel, we said, "Why the heck not?"  We started the trip with the usual baguettes and cheese plates and lots of stops at cafes.

     By far, the best part of our trip was when we went to the Pere LaChaise Cemetery.  It's where so many of "the greats" are enjoying their eternal rest.  There's Edith Piaf, Jim Morrison, Moliere, Chopin, Oscar Wilde, and so many more than that.  You can read about a few of them here: https://listverse.com/2011/10/27/top-10-fascinating-graves-in-pre-lachaise/ .  I'd gone there a few times before this last trip, but this was my husband's first time in many, many years.  It was so beautiful and serene there.  We spent hours in the cemetery, traveling far off the beaten path to see the lesser-known graves that are crumbling and being taken over by Mother Nature.  Before, I'd always sort of rushed through just to say hi to Jim (Morrison of The Doors), the cemetery's most famous resident.  I think these pictures speak to the beauty and serenity of the place.

     I think the mausoleums that have chairs inside them are the most fascinating.  I don't know if they were for those sitting with the bodies during the first few days or weeks after their internment or if they are just worn out from those loved ones who came to pray for them.  Either way, they're fascinating and eternal reminders of those who were left behind.