My Children

My little boys couldn't be more different.  My oldest is tall and slim with curls just like mine that stick out all over the place.  I could take his picture and superimpose it on mine at the same age.  It's scary actually, that my husband and I have created a little me all over again.  I never thought that a child could be made up almost entirely of just one parent:  hair, eyes, height, mouth, and--though I hate to admit it--temperament; but that's just what we got in our oldest.  Our youngest is my husband made anew.  It's as if our chromosomes got confused during the fertilization process or something because our little guy has blonde, straight hair, stockier build, kind and gentle temperament, etc., just like my husband.  He's kind and beautiful and sweet.  He tells me all day every day, "I love you Mommy."

Kids are such a blessing too.  They are really a chance for you (meaning me) to kind of go back and correct some of the mistakes you made or that were made for you.  I see my children and I see the opportunity to mold them into people and future adults unlike me.  I have always been a bit of a nervous individual with various neuroses and fears--like most other people.  It isn't very obvious by the life path I've chosen, but it's not always easy for me to try new things and new places.  It's taken me until the last few years to be able to just jump into new things, new lives, and new experiences; and I still struggle with it.  But through much soul searching and conversation with my husband and best friend, I've come to realize exactly what kind of mother I want and need to be.  It comes from a poem my friend sent me.  This is what I want:

"Children Learn What They Live"

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.