I haven't been everywhere; and I haven't done everything yet. But I do know one thing for sure: Southerners are unlike any other people I've ever met. While there are many cultures and peoples that I am sure are very warm and caring people, I don't fine any other group to be AS kind and AS giving--and, frankly, as emotionally invested in other people--as Southern people are.
I grew up in a place where saying "y'all" was more than commonplace (as ya'll know ;) . When we left Louisiana and moved to Washington, it was immediately obvious to me that every time I said it--even to yuppies who were from the South--people would look at me just a little differently, like they thought I was just a little dumb for the way I talked. So, you know what? For about two years, I stopped saying it AT ALL. I adopted the Midwesterners "you guys" because I was so afraid that people would give me that belittling look again or think less of me. I actually tried to find ways to tone down my accent and tone down my way of dressing so that I wouldn't appear too different. I just wanted to blend in to avoid that look.
Thinking back now, it's kind of funny; it was my own insecurity really. I mean, honestly, what the hell do I care about how those sheep think of me? It took moving to Ecuador and living there for a while to make me realize that if you don't like it (me as I am), you can just go straight to hell. I've been a much happier person ever since I came to that realization, and I thank my Nanny for that.
It took me a long time to gather some self esteem and some self awareness to get over what I felt was a character flaw: being TOO Southern. By wanting to blend in, I almost lost myself and my heritage. Southern people (and I am not talking about the stereotypical rednecks and/or racist idiots we always see on the news when something happens south of the Mason-Dixon Line) are beautifully unique from every other type of people out there that I've met so far. We are a personable, funny, easy to talk to, almost always willing to help, kind, considerate, and giving people.
I always heard that manners were just a way of making people feel comfortable around you. I never understood the meaning and importance of that until I left the South. I never appreciated how good it felt for a person to hold a door open for me (other than my hubby) and how I just expected it and took it for granted until I moved away. Here's a fact: people do not do that anywhere else. Even here, people just walk in ahead of you and let the door slam in your face (although I think part of that may be the frigid cold that lasts seven months out of the year). People actually give me strange looks when I hold doors open for them or smile at them in the street or--Godforfreakingbid--say a polite "How do you do" to them. It is still amazing to me to this day.
And people don't care how physically comfortable you are when you go to their homes like they do in the South. I mean, in my family, you don't really get to relax at a function that you're hosting because your job is to make your guests feel completely comfortable. If that means that you've got blisters on your feet and nothing in your belly by the end of that function, so be it; because your guests come absolutely first. Not so anywhere else. And, for me, I can't believe there was ever a time when I thought I needed to hide or shield that part of me.
Another thing I didn't realize until I got a bit older: Men are suckers for an accent and a little touch to the arm or shoulder. (Damnit, now I'm telling all of my secrets.) It's so funny, but they fall for it every time. It never fails at a party full of these very knowledgeable and/or powerful men and women: the women look at me like I'm a dumb blonde, and their husbands and/or business partners fall all over me. In my world, my Southern accent has gotten me far already. See, nobody expects you to be very smart; so you never fail to exceed expectations; and, when you're not sure of something, just play the dumb blonde card because these powerful men love the ego boost. ;)
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